Wednesday, September 25, 2013

so scared to love

LE LOVE BLOG GIRL LAYING ALONE DIM LIGHT PHOTO THINKING SCARED TO LOVE Cabin Fever by Emmanuel Rosario, on Flickr
Photo via: Emmanuel Rosario

I wake up and not having you text me “Good morning :)” stings. The fact that we’re in a time and place where there are far more important things to us than each other, unbelievably sucks but we both know it’s for the better… but why does it hurt so much even though I know there are more good things that come out of this? I wish I didn’t get to talk to you about a future together, I wish I didn’t say “I love you”. I wish I didn’t feel this way ever with you because it hurts to know that you felt the same way and we can’t be because of these circumstances. I’m going to be really jealous on who your next girlfriend is going to be because I want to be the one next to you. My mind’s just saying that you’ll find somebody new and my heart aches because the possibility of it being true is so high. This is why I don’t wanna love, why I’m so scared to love because there seems to be reasons why they don’t work and I just get exhausted from all the tears and frustration and only to build my confidence just to have it broken down. I wanna keep trying and trying, but I’m too tired. Sometimes, I just wanna know if I’m going to be alone or am I going to be with somebody? Because I’m tired, I’m so tired and...

"What hurts the most was being so close."

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